Post by Kurt Newman on Mar 21, 2016 23:33:11 GMT
~The scene starts off with Kurt Newman standing in front of a podium. Now it wouldn't be a Kurt Newman promo with out some humor. So instead of being himself, Kurt is dressed up like certain Presidential Candidate by the name of........
*Hold up, you think he might sue us if we use him in our promo. I mean the guy will sue about anyone for about anything.
~This is true. Hmmmm, well let's just put it this way. Kurt is wearing a blonde wig, has orange spray on tan covering his skin, and wearing an expensive suit that's probably made in China.
*Oh, and over the wig, Kurt is wearing a red hat that reads Make Wrestling Great Again. And behind Kurt is a huoooooooge NJFC flag as Kurt as he stares directly in front of the camera.
~Now to make something completely clear, we do not support Trump and neither does the guy writing all of this right now. We're more Rand Paul guys.
*Speak for yourself, I'm feeling the burn!
~Commie pig!
*Capitalist swine!
~*kugfukgfutfj.gv,jog chic,jfulgdjhflugdyfxj,gfkurdhvkhgutkd*~
Chris Cummins (Writer and creator of the shit that you see right now): "Hey! Will you two knock it off. I've only got 1000 words to use for this promo and you're wasting up words."
~Sorry.
*Yeah, me too.
~With that, Kurt does his best impersonation of the man that shall not be named and speaks.
KN: "People of Japan and NJFC, my name is Kurt Newman and I'm going to be your next Global Champion. Now the current Global Champion, he's a loser. He's a has been. He's a little troll who's been nothing but lucky since he stepped foot in a NJFC ring. I can say this without a shadow of a doubt that if I had been here since Johnny came to NJFC, Johnny wouldn't had gotten his small and puny hands on the Global Title. Hell, he wouldn't had a career here in NJFC Gobelin with because I would had told the staff with NJFC not to hire the hack because it wouldn't had been a good business choice to begin with. Mostly because the guys old news and peaked years ago when he actually mattered in the wrestling world. I'm telling you folks, Johnny should had never came back and should had stayed in what ever rock he decided to crawl out from."
~The crowd that's there start to cheer and hold up signs as Kurt takes a few seconds to calm himself down.
KN: "This Johnny Bonecrusher guy, by the way, worse gimmick name over. Screams 90s when everyone had some corny nickname. But Johnny, everything he does screams 80's and 90's. By the way he looks, to the way he wrestles, and by the way he does his promos. Nothing but empty threats and statements with no backbone. Seriously, nothing original about the guy. You know Johnny should do? See Johnny doesn't belong in a wrestling ring like the one in NJFC, not a wrestling ring that deserves more respect than what Johnny puts out there. Johnny needs to take his old styles and his old views and take them to where gimmick wrestlers, such as himself, and go wrestle in a bingo hall with the rest of the has beens of his generation that never evolved, and he should wrestle in front of fat and geeky people of nowhere Minnesota.
Johnny thinks that he's big shit and that he can do what ever pleases. Johnny might had been something in the hillbilly hills of Canada, alright, and he might had been able to push people around like rookies or gimmick wrestlers who only had two months of wrestling knowledge......but Johnny I'm not some guy you can push around. I'm a veteran. I've traveled around the world and wrestled in every type of wrestling event you can name of. I've wrestled in the lowest of the low and he highest of the highs. Before I got injured Johnny I was one of the top talents of EWC. I was the greatest International champion that company ever had and during that time holding onto that belt I also held the Tag Team titles with Shadow Man, both of which I never lost. I was in more main events with EWC than any other wrestler during the time EWC reopened up its doors to the day I got injured. Hell, I was even on the cover of the companies video game last year. All of which was with EWC, one of the top and best wrestling organizations in he world. I helped make EWC what it is today and because of what I did for such a short time I was told a few weeks ago that I will be inducted into EWC Hall Of Fame."
~Kurt pauses as the crowd cheers for his HOF induction.
KN: "I did all of this for EWC. Now what do you think I can do with NJFC. With me as champ I will double the ratings, I'll sell more merchandise than anyone else, and I will make this company money. Lots and lots of money. Johnny can't make any of this happen because he's a small little man with a small little mind with an even smaller grasp of what it means to be the head of a company.
And you know what? I'm going to be the greatest Global Champion of all time. I'll have that title and I'll be the greatest champ NJFC has ever seen. I made the EWC International title a great title and I will make the Global Title and even better one. Believe me I will make NJFC great and I will make wrestling great again ladies and gentlemen when I beat Johnny. Thank you and God bless."
~With that, Kurt does his best Richard Nixon impersonation and throws up peace signs as he makes his way off the set. With that, the scene ends.
*Hold up, you think he might sue us if we use him in our promo. I mean the guy will sue about anyone for about anything.
~This is true. Hmmmm, well let's just put it this way. Kurt is wearing a blonde wig, has orange spray on tan covering his skin, and wearing an expensive suit that's probably made in China.
*Oh, and over the wig, Kurt is wearing a red hat that reads Make Wrestling Great Again. And behind Kurt is a huoooooooge NJFC flag as Kurt as he stares directly in front of the camera.
~Now to make something completely clear, we do not support Trump and neither does the guy writing all of this right now. We're more Rand Paul guys.
*Speak for yourself, I'm feeling the burn!
~Commie pig!
*Capitalist swine!
~*kugfukgfutfj.gv,jog chic,jfulgdjhflugdyfxj,gfkurdhvkhgutkd*~
Chris Cummins (Writer and creator of the shit that you see right now): "Hey! Will you two knock it off. I've only got 1000 words to use for this promo and you're wasting up words."
~Sorry.
*Yeah, me too.
~With that, Kurt does his best impersonation of the man that shall not be named and speaks.
KN: "People of Japan and NJFC, my name is Kurt Newman and I'm going to be your next Global Champion. Now the current Global Champion, he's a loser. He's a has been. He's a little troll who's been nothing but lucky since he stepped foot in a NJFC ring. I can say this without a shadow of a doubt that if I had been here since Johnny came to NJFC, Johnny wouldn't had gotten his small and puny hands on the Global Title. Hell, he wouldn't had a career here in NJFC Gobelin with because I would had told the staff with NJFC not to hire the hack because it wouldn't had been a good business choice to begin with. Mostly because the guys old news and peaked years ago when he actually mattered in the wrestling world. I'm telling you folks, Johnny should had never came back and should had stayed in what ever rock he decided to crawl out from."
~The crowd that's there start to cheer and hold up signs as Kurt takes a few seconds to calm himself down.
KN: "This Johnny Bonecrusher guy, by the way, worse gimmick name over. Screams 90s when everyone had some corny nickname. But Johnny, everything he does screams 80's and 90's. By the way he looks, to the way he wrestles, and by the way he does his promos. Nothing but empty threats and statements with no backbone. Seriously, nothing original about the guy. You know Johnny should do? See Johnny doesn't belong in a wrestling ring like the one in NJFC, not a wrestling ring that deserves more respect than what Johnny puts out there. Johnny needs to take his old styles and his old views and take them to where gimmick wrestlers, such as himself, and go wrestle in a bingo hall with the rest of the has beens of his generation that never evolved, and he should wrestle in front of fat and geeky people of nowhere Minnesota.
Johnny thinks that he's big shit and that he can do what ever pleases. Johnny might had been something in the hillbilly hills of Canada, alright, and he might had been able to push people around like rookies or gimmick wrestlers who only had two months of wrestling knowledge......but Johnny I'm not some guy you can push around. I'm a veteran. I've traveled around the world and wrestled in every type of wrestling event you can name of. I've wrestled in the lowest of the low and he highest of the highs. Before I got injured Johnny I was one of the top talents of EWC. I was the greatest International champion that company ever had and during that time holding onto that belt I also held the Tag Team titles with Shadow Man, both of which I never lost. I was in more main events with EWC than any other wrestler during the time EWC reopened up its doors to the day I got injured. Hell, I was even on the cover of the companies video game last year. All of which was with EWC, one of the top and best wrestling organizations in he world. I helped make EWC what it is today and because of what I did for such a short time I was told a few weeks ago that I will be inducted into EWC Hall Of Fame."
~Kurt pauses as the crowd cheers for his HOF induction.
KN: "I did all of this for EWC. Now what do you think I can do with NJFC. With me as champ I will double the ratings, I'll sell more merchandise than anyone else, and I will make this company money. Lots and lots of money. Johnny can't make any of this happen because he's a small little man with a small little mind with an even smaller grasp of what it means to be the head of a company.
And you know what? I'm going to be the greatest Global Champion of all time. I'll have that title and I'll be the greatest champ NJFC has ever seen. I made the EWC International title a great title and I will make the Global Title and even better one. Believe me I will make NJFC great and I will make wrestling great again ladies and gentlemen when I beat Johnny. Thank you and God bless."
~With that, Kurt does his best Richard Nixon impersonation and throws up peace signs as he makes his way off the set. With that, the scene ends.
