Post by wwjbcd on Apr 11, 2016 23:32:14 GMT
Moments after the duo of Canada's Greatest Athlete and The Portland Madman - collectively known as The Pacific Wrecking Crew - exit the press conference, they are greeted by another interviewer they've yet the pleasure of speaking with, Rachel Kenshin.
"Johnny, Maxwell, we haven't been properly introduced. My name is Rachel Kenshin and I'm a colleague of Joey Miles. You've been interviewed by him before, right?"
Johnny looks up and down at this new person, verifying in his own mind that she is indeed who she says she is and is not just some crazy stalker hungry for his hot bod. Shut up.
"I sure have, Miss Kenshin. And did Mr. Miles tell you that I'm a psychic?"
Rachel looks confused. She looks to Maxwell for some help, but he's just looking just as confusedly at his manager/partner.
"Uhh, no, no he didn't?"
"Of course he didn't. Well, I am in fact psychic, and I'll prove it to you."
The Johnny presses two fingers gently onto his temple and closes his eyes.
"I'm seeing something... I'm seeing something... Yes... Yes... I see a woman. She's equipped with a microphone and has a camera crew in tow. She's approaching two handsome gentlemen fresh off of yet another perfect 10 press conference Q and A. She wants to say something to the shorter of the two Adonises. She perhaps would like to interview them? Hmm? Ah, yes... yes, that's it. In regards to... to their first-round opponents... a couple of no-talent jabronis with a name that not even a Hollywood celebrity couple would approve of. Her words, not mine, BriJet!"
"WildLin."
Johnny becomes tight-lipped and inhales deeply, clearly irritated at being corrected.
"WildLin. Possible hashtag WildLin, since one of their two members is some millennial yahoo. Well, that Post-Millennium Bird-Chested Model Wannabe's no match for this Pre-Millennium Wrestler, let me tell y-"
"Uhh, you were saying something about allowing me to interview you guys?"
Johnny doesn't respond right away. His eyes suddenly open, already looking in Rachel's direction. He slowly lowers his hand from his face, exhaling sharply.
"Well, I was trying to spice things up here, but, yeah, okay, go ahead."
"Thank you. Now, as you said, your team, The Pacific Wrecking Crew, will be squaring off against WildLin in the first round of the tag-team tournament to crown the first-ever GPC Tag-Team Champions. One member of WildLin, Jett Wilder, has already said his peace in regards to you gentlemen, and he was, well, let's just say a bit on the ageist side when referring to you both, especially you."
Johnny shrugs his shoulders and looks confused, as if wondering why those insults should even bother him. He turns to look at Schneider, who actually looks offended.
"Well, Miss Kenshin, that's to be expected from some 19-year-old punk-ass who thinks that I think I'm a champion here... Well, Jett-Set, I hate to break it to you, but..."
Johnny removes the Global Championship from his shoulder, wielding it in both hands, up close and personal-like so the cameras can see without a shadow of doubt what is being shown to them.
"I don't think nothin', I am a champion, the NJFC Global Champion, to be precise, and if that's not enough to have you worried, well then, I can't do nothin' for ya, junior. At your age, you feel like you're invincible, on top of the world, and you've got yourself a champion-level partner to boot! What was that again, the 4CW Extreme Championship you said Brian Laughlin was currently holding? Oh! Well then! We'd better watch out, huh, Maxie?"
"I want his belt."
Johnny whips his glasses off, looking incredulously at his partner.
"You don't want anything but the GPC Tag-Team titles, you got me?! None of that 4CW junk. This is the NJFC, and only NJFC stuff matters here, which negates Jett's buddy's little belt."
Rachel nods, satisfied with the answers provided.
"And Maxwell, what are your thoughts on Jett making fun of your current housing situation?"
Maxwell looks a bit confused.
"You mean me not havin' no home ta call my own?"
"Exactly."
"Look, if that's all that ree-ject member of One Direction's got for sass-talk, then lemme make one thing... PERFECTLY CLEAR:"
Johnny looks incensed.
"Hey, that's my line!"
"We ain't here ta have nooooo war of words with you guys, we're here for one thing and one thing only: beatin' people up 'til there's no one left, and takin' those tag-team belts back to the hotel and celebratin' bein' the best - the very best! - tag-team that the NJFC's gotta offer! And if that means someone ain't gonna see his 20th birthday, well, hey, live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse behind... only that last part we can't guarantee-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!"
Both JBC and Rachel wince at the decibel level of that boisterous laugh.
"Your mom should have done a better job of talking some sense into you, telling you not to rattle the tiger cage, shake the hornet's nest, wake the sleeping bear, but I get it, I really do. Trying to talk sense into a teenager is a waste of time. Beating sense into one, well, we'll do that for you, Miss Wilder, free of charge no less! We know he must have been a handful, all the way back to when you were still changing his diapers, i.e.: last year."
"Now who's being ageist?"
Johnny's widen as he looks at Schneider as if to say, "What the Hell are you doing?!"
"Anyway, we have yet to actually hear from Jett's partner Brian Laughlin; what do you think he'll be bringing to the table as far as your match goes?"
"A table he'll be put through for sure! But in all seriousness, for his partner's sake, I'm hoping he brings some maturity to the situation. I'm sure he's not too keen on being both a baby-sitter and a tag-team partner, you know."
"Thank you for your time, guys. Good luck!"
"Johnny, Maxwell, we haven't been properly introduced. My name is Rachel Kenshin and I'm a colleague of Joey Miles. You've been interviewed by him before, right?"
Johnny looks up and down at this new person, verifying in his own mind that she is indeed who she says she is and is not just some crazy stalker hungry for his hot bod. Shut up.
"I sure have, Miss Kenshin. And did Mr. Miles tell you that I'm a psychic?"
Rachel looks confused. She looks to Maxwell for some help, but he's just looking just as confusedly at his manager/partner.
"Uhh, no, no he didn't?"
"Of course he didn't. Well, I am in fact psychic, and I'll prove it to you."
The Johnny presses two fingers gently onto his temple and closes his eyes.
"I'm seeing something... I'm seeing something... Yes... Yes... I see a woman. She's equipped with a microphone and has a camera crew in tow. She's approaching two handsome gentlemen fresh off of yet another perfect 10 press conference Q and A. She wants to say something to the shorter of the two Adonises. She perhaps would like to interview them? Hmm? Ah, yes... yes, that's it. In regards to... to their first-round opponents... a couple of no-talent jabronis with a name that not even a Hollywood celebrity couple would approve of. Her words, not mine, BriJet!"
"WildLin."
Johnny becomes tight-lipped and inhales deeply, clearly irritated at being corrected.
"WildLin. Possible hashtag WildLin, since one of their two members is some millennial yahoo. Well, that Post-Millennium Bird-Chested Model Wannabe's no match for this Pre-Millennium Wrestler, let me tell y-"
"Uhh, you were saying something about allowing me to interview you guys?"
Johnny doesn't respond right away. His eyes suddenly open, already looking in Rachel's direction. He slowly lowers his hand from his face, exhaling sharply.
"Well, I was trying to spice things up here, but, yeah, okay, go ahead."
"Thank you. Now, as you said, your team, The Pacific Wrecking Crew, will be squaring off against WildLin in the first round of the tag-team tournament to crown the first-ever GPC Tag-Team Champions. One member of WildLin, Jett Wilder, has already said his peace in regards to you gentlemen, and he was, well, let's just say a bit on the ageist side when referring to you both, especially you."
Johnny shrugs his shoulders and looks confused, as if wondering why those insults should even bother him. He turns to look at Schneider, who actually looks offended.
"Well, Miss Kenshin, that's to be expected from some 19-year-old punk-ass who thinks that I think I'm a champion here... Well, Jett-Set, I hate to break it to you, but..."
Johnny removes the Global Championship from his shoulder, wielding it in both hands, up close and personal-like so the cameras can see without a shadow of doubt what is being shown to them.
"I don't think nothin', I am a champion, the NJFC Global Champion, to be precise, and if that's not enough to have you worried, well then, I can't do nothin' for ya, junior. At your age, you feel like you're invincible, on top of the world, and you've got yourself a champion-level partner to boot! What was that again, the 4CW Extreme Championship you said Brian Laughlin was currently holding? Oh! Well then! We'd better watch out, huh, Maxie?"
"I want his belt."
Johnny whips his glasses off, looking incredulously at his partner.
"You don't want anything but the GPC Tag-Team titles, you got me?! None of that 4CW junk. This is the NJFC, and only NJFC stuff matters here, which negates Jett's buddy's little belt."
Rachel nods, satisfied with the answers provided.
"And Maxwell, what are your thoughts on Jett making fun of your current housing situation?"
Maxwell looks a bit confused.
"You mean me not havin' no home ta call my own?"
"Exactly."
"Look, if that's all that ree-ject member of One Direction's got for sass-talk, then lemme make one thing... PERFECTLY CLEAR:"
Johnny looks incensed.
"Hey, that's my line!"
"We ain't here ta have nooooo war of words with you guys, we're here for one thing and one thing only: beatin' people up 'til there's no one left, and takin' those tag-team belts back to the hotel and celebratin' bein' the best - the very best! - tag-team that the NJFC's gotta offer! And if that means someone ain't gonna see his 20th birthday, well, hey, live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse behind... only that last part we can't guarantee-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!"
Both JBC and Rachel wince at the decibel level of that boisterous laugh.
"Your mom should have done a better job of talking some sense into you, telling you not to rattle the tiger cage, shake the hornet's nest, wake the sleeping bear, but I get it, I really do. Trying to talk sense into a teenager is a waste of time. Beating sense into one, well, we'll do that for you, Miss Wilder, free of charge no less! We know he must have been a handful, all the way back to when you were still changing his diapers, i.e.: last year."
"Now who's being ageist?"
Johnny's widen as he looks at Schneider as if to say, "What the Hell are you doing?!"
"Anyway, we have yet to actually hear from Jett's partner Brian Laughlin; what do you think he'll be bringing to the table as far as your match goes?"
"A table he'll be put through for sure! But in all seriousness, for his partner's sake, I'm hoping he brings some maturity to the situation. I'm sure he's not too keen on being both a baby-sitter and a tag-team partner, you know."
"Thank you for your time, guys. Good luck!"
