Post by James Edwards on Jul 4, 2017 3:54:06 GMT
The sun is well on its way to setting, and the shadows are growing longer by the second, but the massive scoreboard with the iconic click is recognizable. This is Koshien Stadium, the field of dreams in Japanese baseball, and kneeling home plate with his back to the camera is James Edwards.
"I've learned a lot about myself during this trip, as a man, and as a fighter. A lot of it the hard way, but I think that is the point of a journey most of the time. Struggle breeds remembrance and sometimes on rare occasions, appreciation."
A pause. The viewer can hear the distant buzz of cicadas in the background.
"I appreciate the opportunity that I had today, to be the guest of the Hanshin Tigers, and to see the beauty of how pros on the Japanese circuit play my favorite game. I appreciate the chance to kneel here at home plate and admire the sunset. I don't think that would have been possible without defeat and the humility that comes with it."
James runs his fingers through the dirt.
"I know that you've struggled too, Akio. I know what it is like to labor in the dark, to not be appreciated, and get talked down too. Men like Bryan Williams and Tommy Knox will always sneer and laugh at me when I pass in the locker room. Mark Storm will consider me a training partner and not a threat. Chandler Scott will praise me out of one side of his mouth and belittle me the next. These are things I won't be able to change no matter how successful I am over here or back in the United States. But how I can control how I react to those situations. I can channel my frustration into concentration until the only thing that remains is me. What have you done with your frustration Akio? From what I understand you throw tantrums. You'll throw away a fight and not take a defeat with any semblance of honor. That won't get you anywhere against me. We are one in the same in where we came from and our battle to make it in prestigious promotions. The difference is that I've acknowledged my failure. I've let it make me better, and I know in my heart you don't have a chance in hell of calling yourself the better man when we meet in the ring."
Another pause. James reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a jar. He stares at it for a long time before he resumes speaking.
"You sounded certain, Stacy, almost fanatical in your belief that you'll beat me. So how do you deal with uncertainty? Do you have the same confidence when the good times end and famine comes knocking on the door? I might be wrong, but I have this feeling that you don't have the iron in your soul to do so. I've seen your type, and I've beaten em'. Y'all will yap to the moon and back about how great you are. It is like that camera is courage. Then the second you take a hard shot your eyes glaze over, and you don't know what the hell to do. Y'all swing and miss, dive and crash, and finally die underneath the three count. Belief in absolutes breaks a fighter. I embrace uncertainty. I let it guide me like a gentle stream. It refreshes my instincts to the point where I can pick the right moment to be my most lethal. That moment will likely come for me on the last night of the tour. Will it come for you Stacy, or will you break like the others?"
He screws the lid with a pensive look on his face.
"There is a custom here that when a high school player's third summer ends, he takes some of the sacred Koshien dirt home with him. I've been going back and forth on whether I deserve to do the same. I'm not sure if this will be the last time I get to visit this special place. I'm not if I will be invited back to Japan or if I'll get a chance to win the NJFC Heavyweight Championship. I think I'm gonna take some with me anyways. As a reminder that I came here proud and certain, only to break when the spotlight shone the brightest, and then I was reborn by remembering that at the end of the day I'm covered in dirt and failure just like the rest of the human race."
And with that James reaches down, grabs a handful, and begins to sprinkle it in his jar as the scene fades to black.
"I've learned a lot about myself during this trip, as a man, and as a fighter. A lot of it the hard way, but I think that is the point of a journey most of the time. Struggle breeds remembrance and sometimes on rare occasions, appreciation."
A pause. The viewer can hear the distant buzz of cicadas in the background.
"I appreciate the opportunity that I had today, to be the guest of the Hanshin Tigers, and to see the beauty of how pros on the Japanese circuit play my favorite game. I appreciate the chance to kneel here at home plate and admire the sunset. I don't think that would have been possible without defeat and the humility that comes with it."
James runs his fingers through the dirt.
"I know that you've struggled too, Akio. I know what it is like to labor in the dark, to not be appreciated, and get talked down too. Men like Bryan Williams and Tommy Knox will always sneer and laugh at me when I pass in the locker room. Mark Storm will consider me a training partner and not a threat. Chandler Scott will praise me out of one side of his mouth and belittle me the next. These are things I won't be able to change no matter how successful I am over here or back in the United States. But how I can control how I react to those situations. I can channel my frustration into concentration until the only thing that remains is me. What have you done with your frustration Akio? From what I understand you throw tantrums. You'll throw away a fight and not take a defeat with any semblance of honor. That won't get you anywhere against me. We are one in the same in where we came from and our battle to make it in prestigious promotions. The difference is that I've acknowledged my failure. I've let it make me better, and I know in my heart you don't have a chance in hell of calling yourself the better man when we meet in the ring."
Another pause. James reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a jar. He stares at it for a long time before he resumes speaking.
"You sounded certain, Stacy, almost fanatical in your belief that you'll beat me. So how do you deal with uncertainty? Do you have the same confidence when the good times end and famine comes knocking on the door? I might be wrong, but I have this feeling that you don't have the iron in your soul to do so. I've seen your type, and I've beaten em'. Y'all will yap to the moon and back about how great you are. It is like that camera is courage. Then the second you take a hard shot your eyes glaze over, and you don't know what the hell to do. Y'all swing and miss, dive and crash, and finally die underneath the three count. Belief in absolutes breaks a fighter. I embrace uncertainty. I let it guide me like a gentle stream. It refreshes my instincts to the point where I can pick the right moment to be my most lethal. That moment will likely come for me on the last night of the tour. Will it come for you Stacy, or will you break like the others?"
He screws the lid with a pensive look on his face.
"There is a custom here that when a high school player's third summer ends, he takes some of the sacred Koshien dirt home with him. I've been going back and forth on whether I deserve to do the same. I'm not sure if this will be the last time I get to visit this special place. I'm not if I will be invited back to Japan or if I'll get a chance to win the NJFC Heavyweight Championship. I think I'm gonna take some with me anyways. As a reminder that I came here proud and certain, only to break when the spotlight shone the brightest, and then I was reborn by remembering that at the end of the day I'm covered in dirt and failure just like the rest of the human race."
And with that James reaches down, grabs a handful, and begins to sprinkle it in his jar as the scene fades to black.
