Post by anna on Apr 25, 2018 22:55:22 GMT
“Hello. I’m Anna and this is my partner, Lisa. Say hello, Lisa!”
Lisa Seldon, usually the mouthy part of this tag team, simply waves her off. Anna Mathews, the person holding this damn camera, smiles.
“Forgive her. It seems that she’s more into the press conferences than she is in promoting and besides, we just kicked a whole lot of ass in KAMIKAZE Pro. I think she’s trying to unwind. Probably looking up smutty Aokigahara Zombie fan fiction while playing with her pussyCAT.”
And if one is to look, they can see that she is looking at something on her phone while petting an actual cat. Anna shrugs.
“You may know us from the aforementioned KAMIKAZE Pro or CWC Japan: Legacy or even BUDOKAN GAIJIN DREAM FIGHT. There’s more places we’re in either as a team or by ourselves, but hey, when in Japan, right? Together, we form the team of Dodo-a-Gogo. We’re also two-fourths of the Hellcat Spangled Death Squad. You may know that name from us outsmarting three of your best very recently.”
There’s a smirk that comes with that statement.
“The squad is new, but the team isn’t. We’ve traveled down the roads and fought the damn world next to each other for many years. Granted there was a hiatus when she became a God of Wrestling. And by God, of course, I mean literal God. But we’re reunited, it feels so good, and even with her being away from Earth and me regenerating into something completely different, we’ve managed to refine our stride and pick up where we left off. We’re not THE UNDEFEATED Dodo-a-Gogo anymore, but really who the fuck stays undefeated?
I’m not gonna bullshit you. We have our reasons for being a part of NJFC’s Tag Team thing. It can be attributed to any number of things. We love wins, we love shiny things, we love accolades, NJFC is the only other big promotion in this country we haven’t stepped foot in. All of that is true. There’s personal reasons as well, at least for me. I always feel the obsessive need to fight everybody and prove myself against the good, the bad, the ugly, and the best.
And according to some people, the Small Boob Wrecking Crew are at the very least really, really good. I’ve heard of Annie Zellor, of course. Formerly Annie Depree before that whole divorce thing due to...stuff. It’s hard not to know about her. She has certainly made an effort to make herself known to me. The cute one who is addicted to Starbucks and is a sister-wife to Ana Hayden. She’s also praised as one of those people you absolutely have to see work and whatnot.
Then on the other side of things is the Crimson Baroness which...fucking really? You don’t look like much of a baroness to me but seeing as people nearly shit their pants at the mere thought of the Small Boob Wrecking Crew, I’m willing to bet she’s got some skills of her own. Don't ya, Katie?”
A wink. God only knows what for and honestly, it doesn’t matter much.
“Lisa doesn’t give many fucks about your existence, not even now with the match so close. You're just opponents. And if you think about it, that's exactly the way we should feel. We’re not going to overwhelm ourselves pouring into both your life stories because they don’t matter. We’re not going to masterbate to your past matches because they don’t matter all that much either. Sure, watching enough tapes might give you a clue as to how they work. But people change. Teams evolve and strategy can shift gears at the drop of a dime.
‘But Anna, that's so short sighted!’
Alas, that's the paradox we’re in when it comes to these competitive situations. If we focus on the big picture beyond the Crew, we’ll be seen as unfocused. If we focus solely on them, we’re considered shortsighted. In the court of popular opinion, there’s no victory. Thus...we really don’t care about that so much either.”
Her smile turns into a grin.
“What do we care about? The wins. In the ways of pro wrestling, the only things that matter in the record books are wins and losses. The rest of this bullshit? The promotional videos, the press conferences, all that shit is simply foreplay. Weaker people, inexperienced people...they’ll cave to that. They will allow you to get in their heads with a few choice words. I’m sure you girls have wins. ‘Oh, ha ha, it’s going to suck when you lose.’ It would. We’ll be a bit upset. But we’re also professionals. When we wake up in the morning, there’s another battle right in front of us. On to the next.
So maybe what we do isn’t something that can be explained. What we do demands to be experienced. And we’re going to make sure you two are getting a pretty clear assbeating. This isn’t going to be you demolishing us. If anything, this is going to be a fight.”
And with a nod, she adds.
“And underestimating us may cost you more than you’re worth.”
Lisa Seldon, usually the mouthy part of this tag team, simply waves her off. Anna Mathews, the person holding this damn camera, smiles.
“Forgive her. It seems that she’s more into the press conferences than she is in promoting and besides, we just kicked a whole lot of ass in KAMIKAZE Pro. I think she’s trying to unwind. Probably looking up smutty Aokigahara Zombie fan fiction while playing with her pussyCAT.”
And if one is to look, they can see that she is looking at something on her phone while petting an actual cat. Anna shrugs.
“You may know us from the aforementioned KAMIKAZE Pro or CWC Japan: Legacy or even BUDOKAN GAIJIN DREAM FIGHT. There’s more places we’re in either as a team or by ourselves, but hey, when in Japan, right? Together, we form the team of Dodo-a-Gogo. We’re also two-fourths of the Hellcat Spangled Death Squad. You may know that name from us outsmarting three of your best very recently.”
There’s a smirk that comes with that statement.
“The squad is new, but the team isn’t. We’ve traveled down the roads and fought the damn world next to each other for many years. Granted there was a hiatus when she became a God of Wrestling. And by God, of course, I mean literal God. But we’re reunited, it feels so good, and even with her being away from Earth and me regenerating into something completely different, we’ve managed to refine our stride and pick up where we left off. We’re not THE UNDEFEATED Dodo-a-Gogo anymore, but really who the fuck stays undefeated?
I’m not gonna bullshit you. We have our reasons for being a part of NJFC’s Tag Team thing. It can be attributed to any number of things. We love wins, we love shiny things, we love accolades, NJFC is the only other big promotion in this country we haven’t stepped foot in. All of that is true. There’s personal reasons as well, at least for me. I always feel the obsessive need to fight everybody and prove myself against the good, the bad, the ugly, and the best.
And according to some people, the Small Boob Wrecking Crew are at the very least really, really good. I’ve heard of Annie Zellor, of course. Formerly Annie Depree before that whole divorce thing due to...stuff. It’s hard not to know about her. She has certainly made an effort to make herself known to me. The cute one who is addicted to Starbucks and is a sister-wife to Ana Hayden. She’s also praised as one of those people you absolutely have to see work and whatnot.
Then on the other side of things is the Crimson Baroness which...fucking really? You don’t look like much of a baroness to me but seeing as people nearly shit their pants at the mere thought of the Small Boob Wrecking Crew, I’m willing to bet she’s got some skills of her own. Don't ya, Katie?”
A wink. God only knows what for and honestly, it doesn’t matter much.
“Lisa doesn’t give many fucks about your existence, not even now with the match so close. You're just opponents. And if you think about it, that's exactly the way we should feel. We’re not going to overwhelm ourselves pouring into both your life stories because they don’t matter. We’re not going to masterbate to your past matches because they don’t matter all that much either. Sure, watching enough tapes might give you a clue as to how they work. But people change. Teams evolve and strategy can shift gears at the drop of a dime.
‘But Anna, that's so short sighted!’
Alas, that's the paradox we’re in when it comes to these competitive situations. If we focus on the big picture beyond the Crew, we’ll be seen as unfocused. If we focus solely on them, we’re considered shortsighted. In the court of popular opinion, there’s no victory. Thus...we really don’t care about that so much either.”
Her smile turns into a grin.
“What do we care about? The wins. In the ways of pro wrestling, the only things that matter in the record books are wins and losses. The rest of this bullshit? The promotional videos, the press conferences, all that shit is simply foreplay. Weaker people, inexperienced people...they’ll cave to that. They will allow you to get in their heads with a few choice words. I’m sure you girls have wins. ‘Oh, ha ha, it’s going to suck when you lose.’ It would. We’ll be a bit upset. But we’re also professionals. When we wake up in the morning, there’s another battle right in front of us. On to the next.
So maybe what we do isn’t something that can be explained. What we do demands to be experienced. And we’re going to make sure you two are getting a pretty clear assbeating. This isn’t going to be you demolishing us. If anything, this is going to be a fight.”
And with a nod, she adds.
“And underestimating us may cost you more than you’re worth.”
